Love Her Enough to Find Yourself
by storylover97
Summary: "When I lost you I lost myself." It had been a full two months since he walked away from her, and he couldn't remember why anymore. Or, Jughead and Betty break up and he struggles to fight his way back from the Serpents into his friends lives, hoping to find himself again.
1. The Breakup

Veronica grabbed Betty's wrist pulling her down into the booth, her whole body bouncing with excitement.

"I'm so glad you're back. You have no idea what you've missed."

Betty rolled her eyes at her over dramatic friend, "I was gone for a week V. I doubt I missed much."

"Well you certainly missed Toni digging her claws further into one Jughead Jones while you were away."

Betty sucked in a breath, her fist automatically clenching.

She put a smile on her face as her nails continued to dig into her palm underneath the table, "It's fine Veronica. He broke up with me, what, or who, he does now is no longer a concern of mine."

Veronica cocked her head to the side, "But what about the plan to get him back?"

"That was yours, Cheryl's and Polly's plan. Not mine."

Veronica sighed. She had hoped the time away would help clear Betty's head and make her realize she needed Jughead back in her life.

If you were to ask Veronica, they were both being stupid anyway.

"I'll never understand why you just let him walk away."

Betty shrugged her shoulders, asking Pop for another milkshake.

In her defense it's not like she just let him walk away.

" _What are you doing here Betty?"_

" _Toni invited me? What's it matter? Aren't you glad to see me?"_

 _Jughead glanced over at Toni, who just smirked._

" _It's not that.. Betty you shouldn't be here. This isn't you."_

 _Betty was confused. She hadn't expected this reaction. She hadn't seen Jughead in days and she missed him, she thought he'd be happy to see her._

" _What isn't me Juggie?"_

" _This," Jughead said gesturing to their surroundings and her outfit._

" _What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"_

" _Black leather isn't you!"_

" _Toni says I can pull it off."_

 _Jughead had to bite his tongue to keep himself from agreeing. Betty could pull off the black leather look, and Jughead so badly wanted to tear it off of her._

" _But it isn't you."_

 _Betty looked defeated and unsure of what to say. She had just wanted to see her boyfriend._

" _I just wanted to see you Juggie, and I thought you'd like this," she said motioning to her outfit._

 _Jughead gently reached out and stroked Betty's cheek._

" _I do like it Betty.. but this isn't who I fell in love with. It's not just the outfit change Betts.. it's the drinking and staying out all night on the south side too. Betty you're quickly entering dangerous territory."_

 _Betty knew what he was talking about but she just wanted to fit in with his new friends. She wanted to be accepted so she could spend more time with Jughead. She was doing everything she could to bridge the ever growing gap in between them._

" _I love you Juggie."_

 _Jughead closed his eyes._

" _I love you too Betty Cooper."_

 _Betty moved closer to him, even as she felt him pulling away._

" _Just always remember that."_

" _Of course I'll always remember that Jug."_

" _Betty this is for the best.."_

" _What?"_

" _Archie is outside waiting on you."_

" _Jughead Jones what the hell are you talking about?"_

" _Betty this is over."_

" _Like hell it is! You don't just get to go out and decide this on your own!"_

" _Betts.." Jughead reached out in hopes to calm her down._

" _Don't you dare touch me Forsythe!"_

 _Jughead cringed at the use of his real name while others in the bar giggled._

" _Fine, Elizabeth." If she could refer to him by his given name, so could he._

 _Betty scoffed, crossing her arms._

" _Everything I've done has been for you! You don't just get to kick me to the curb!"_

" _Betty it's not like that! Please.. I just want you to be safe."_

" _I am safe with you Juggie."_

 _Jughead shook his head._

" _There is a war going on in Riverdale Betts and your connection to me isn't going to keep you safe on the south side forever."_

 _Betty shook her head, he couldn't just do this. She hadn't even realized she was clenching her fist until she felt blood running down her wrist. She uncrossed her arms, wiping the blood on her pants._

" _You're being over dramatic. I'll be fine."_

" _Betty.. Please."_

 _He was growing desperate. The Serpent's have a plan to escalate the Cold War brewing in Riverdale and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He just didn't want Betty being caught in the middle._

" _Over my dead body."_

" _That's what I'm afraid of."_

 _Betty scoffed at that. Jughead grabbed her arm and dragged her out the front of the bar, to where Archie was waiting._

" _This whole thing is about to blow up and I don't need you caught in the crossfire Betty. I don't want to have to worry about you. So please.. just let it go."_

" _Fine," Betty spat. "But don't expect me to be here waiting on you when you've realized what a mistake you've made."_

 _She got in Archie's truck, slamming the door behind her._

" _Drive."_

 _Archie made no arguments as he quickly pulled away from the bar._

"He made his choice," Betty said once Pop stepped away from their table. "I never had a say in it."

"Speak of the devil," Veronica muttered as Jughead came stumbling in with a few of the other younger Serpents, including Toni.

Betty didn't bother sparing a glance knowing she wouldn't be able to hold back any tears that might come forth.

Betty hasn't seen Jughead since they ended things.

Well, actually that's not true. She did ask him to meet her one night last week.

He hadn't been to Pop's since he had officially become a member of the Serpents. She wasn't even sure he would show.

But he did show. And then Betty wished that he hadn't.

"Jughead! So good to see you. How you been?"

"I've been good Pop. Just had a few buddy's of mine who have never eaten here and thought they ought to try it."

Pop smiled, not one to usually turn away customers, he glanced over at Betty and Veronica sitting in their usual spot.

"Maybe another night Jug.. It's good to see you, but you probably shouldn't be here."

Jughead followed Pops gaze and felt his stomach drop out from under him.

"So Betty's back."

Pop nodded, he hated to see these two hurting after everything they've been through together.

"I think it'd be best if she doesn't see you here."

"Come on Pop, we both know she already knows I'm here."

"Jughead.."

Jughead's mind flashes back to one particular night last week.

" _Hey Pop!"_

" _Jughead Jones long time no see. How's life?"_

" _Uh it's fine, have you seen Betty?"_

 _Pop nods to a booth in the corner and Jughead nervously approaches._

 _He re-reads the text in his mind over again._

 _ **Pops. 8 o'clock. Please.**_

 _She hasn't contacted him since that night so her message shocked him and he didn't respond. He hadn't even known if she would actually be here._

" _Betty?"_

 _She didn't even look up to acknowledge him._

" _This," she said sliding a box to the end of the table, "is a box filled with everything you left at my house or that you ever gave me. You can have it all back."_

" _Anything I gave you is yours Betts."_

" _I don't want it." Jughead slowly reached for the box. "And I'd prefer it if you called me Betty."_

" _Fine. Betty."_

" _That's all I wanted Jughead. You can go now."_

" _And if I don't want to?" He asked, sliding in across from her._

" _This was your choice. I told you I wasn't going to be here waiting on you."_

" _I didn't come to get you back."_

" _Then why did you come? Because you thought I was going to beg for you back?"_

" _I didn't know what to expect Betty, honestly your message caught me off guard."_

" _Good."_

" _I do still love you Betty. I didn't want to hurt you."_

" _Well look where we are now."_

" _Betty."_

" _Jughead. Please. I don't have the energy for this."_

 _And before he could even think of them, nevermind stop himself, the words were out of his mouth, cutting like a knife into Betty Cooper._

" _Why? Archie keeping you up all night?"_

 _Jughead wasn't dumb, he knew Archie had developed feelings for Betty. He knew that's why Archie stopped pursuing Veronica. But again, Jughead wasn't dumb. He knew Betty was over Archie. He knew Betty would never do something like that to Veronica, who had been more than confused by Archie's cold shoulder._

 _And before Jughead could even react, there was the sound of glass breaking against his head as Betty threw her milkshake at him._

 _He heard the gasps of other customers in the store and Pop asking if he was okay._

 _But the only thing Jughead could focus on was the tears streaming down Betty Cooper's face as she stood up and stumbled out of the diner._

Before Jughead could respond he heard the voice of Reggie Mantle and mentally cursed himself for even thinking that coming here would be a good idea.

"Well well well lookie who we have here."

"What do you want Reg?"

"Just wanted to talk to my favorite little southsider."

"Reggie leave him be, we're over here."

Jughead turned so fast he almost fell over.

"Betty."

Betty didn't say anything, but she didn't turn to walk away either.

Her and Jughead were locked in a staring contest until Toni broke the silence that had settled over the diner as both groups watched their respective member.

"Well this has sure been fun but what do you say we get out of here Jug?" She asked, coming up and looping her arm through his.

Jughead pulled away from her, his eyes going to Betty's tiny fist.

"Betty.." he trailed off, gently grabbing her hands.

"Are you happy Juggie?"

"What do you mean?"

"With her?"

"I'm not with her Betts."

Betty nodded and pulled her hands out of Jughead's grasp.

"I should head back over there."

Jughead watched her walk back over to the table that had filled up with his old group of friends since he had arrived. He caught Archie's eye.

He fucked up. Jughead knew that. He completely fucked up the only good thing in his life and now he didn't know how to fix it.


	2. Anticlimatic

Sliding into the booth next to Archie, Betty found herself flashing back to what had started this whole mess in the first place.

It had gone perfectly at first, Betty had left the bar in tears. She had escaped in her childhood best friends truck, seemingly done with Jughead forever.

Jughead had heard word that some of the Serpents didn't like Betty hanging around, said she was stirring up too much dust. They were afraid she was going to cause trouble for their drug ring they had.

Jughead had tried to reason, she was on their side. She knew the serpents were mostly innocent and she wasn't here to cause any problems.

The older Serpents didn't care all that much about intention and had advised Jughead to stop seeing the girl.

When Jughead had refused to stop seeing her, they had a plan to get rid of her. Jughead wasn't sure if they meant just sending her back to her side of town, or something.. more permanent.

He couldn't take the risk.

" _Betty you have to listen to me."_

" _I am listening Juggie," Betty said bristling around his dad's trailer. "You're being paranoid."_

 _Jughead sighed in frustration, wanting to shake sense into his tiny little girlfriend._

 _Betty stopped what she was doing and placed a calming hand on Jugheads chest._

" _They're not going to hurt me Jug."_

" _You don't know that Betts," he said placing his hand over hers._

" _We're not breaking up on a maybe Juggie."_

" _It won't be real."_

" _But everyone will think it is. Especially that Toni Topaz," Betty spat out her name with so much disgust it made Jughead chuckle._

" _I could never be into her Betts."_

 _Betty cocked her head to the side, "Well why not? She's pretty enough."_

" _She's not you Betty Cooper."_

 _Betty couldn't stop the smile on her face, as she leaned in to kiss her boyfriend._

" _I love you Jughead."_

" _I love you."_

 _Betty sighed, "It's fake?"_

" _It's fake Betty."_

 _Betty gave in with a crinkle on her face, causing Jughead to laugh and kiss her again._

" _I could never leave you Betty."_

" _Good. Cause I'd kill you if you did."_

The plan was for Jughead to talk about breaking up with Betty in front of Toni, showing doubt about how and when to do it.

He would make a show of pulling away from Betty, causing Betty to confide in Toni.

Toni would give Betty tips, ones they both knew would never work.

One night Betty would be invited to the bar with Toni, and when that would happen Jughead would get word and show up.

A fight would ensue.

It all went exactly as they had planned.

Jughead showed up at her house later that evening, climbing in her window.

" _Juggie!"_

 _Jughead smiled as his girlfriend ran into his arms._

" _Hey Betts."_

" _Let's never fight again," she said burying her face into his chest._

" _I wish I could promise you that Betts but we're human, we're bound to fight at some point."_

" _Well then can we at least agree to work through it? No matter what it is?"_

" _Of course," Jughead placed a kiss on the top of her head._

" _Good. I don't ever wanna lose you," Betty placed her hand on her chest, wincing when she applied to much pressure._

 _Jughead reached up to grab her hands, the frown evident on his face. "Betty.."_

" _I know. I'm sorry Juggie. But the smug look on Toni's face was really pissing me off."_

 _Jughead shook his head and gently kissed Betty's palms._

" _You can't let her get to you Betts."_

" _Yeah well that's gonna be hard. She gets to see you all the time."_

" _Yeah but I love you and not her."_

" _Why are we still talking about her?" Betty asked, pressing her lips into Jugheads._

" _I honestly have no idea," he responded, throwing her on the bed._

 _Betty squealed in surprise, laughing as Jughead came to lay beside her._

" _I love you," he said placing a kiss on her forehead._

 _Betty snuggled into Jughead's side, "I love you too."_

 _After a moment of silence Jugheads voice broke through, "Next time I see you in that leather, be prepared for me to rip it off of you."_

 _Betty swatted at her boyfriend, mumbling something about never wearing leather again. Jughead just laughed and pulled Betty as close to him as possible._

 _And they just laid there like that the rest of the night, enjoying each other's company._

It continued on like that for a couple of weeks. Jughead would sneak into her room, late at night after all his Serpent business was done.

They would laugh and talk about their days. Just enjoying the company they had missed throughout the day.

Jugheads story's always seemed to involve Toni somehow, while Archie was the star of Betty's.

So, as it always does, jealousy ruined their perfect plan.

Their short time spent together went from being a safe haven from their everyday lives, to just another thing to add to the list of "things in my life that suck."

" _And so Archie pushed Kevin out of the way and caught the ball!" Betty finished her story with a smile on her face._

" _Of course he did," muttered Jughead._

" _What was that?"_

" _Oh nothing," Jughead shrugged. He looked down at his watch. "I've got to get going."_

" _You're not going to stay?" Betty cocked her head to the side, her eyebrows wrinkling in confusion._

" _Nah. Toni wants to meet me at the bar."_

" _Right. So leave your girlfriend, who you never get to see by the way, for some other girl you just saw like two hours ago."_

" _Oh come on Betty.. don't be like this. It's for a school project."_

" _It's always a school project Jug."_

" _Yeah well at least I have an excuse for why I'm always with her."_

" _What's that supposed to mean?"_

 _At this point the couple were on opposite sides of the room, glaring daggers at each other._

" _Why are you always with Archie?"_

" _He's my best friend?" Betty was confused, Jughead had never been jealous of Archie before._

" _Right."_

" _Archie isn't even into me that way! I can't say the same for Toni though."_

" _Ugh this again." Jughead rolled his eyes._

" _Yes? This again Jughead. Why do you insist on hanging out with someone who took joy in you breaking my heart?"_

" _She's cool."_

" _Oh please. You couldn't stand her two weeks ago!"_

" _Yeah well we were also together two weeks ago, things change."_

" _You know, maybe you were right all those months ago Jug. Maybe we are just on borrowed time."_

 _Betty collapsed on her bed, all her energy leaving her body._

 _Jughead eyes softened just a little, "Maybe we are."_

" _You should go."_

Jughead would call her the next day and apologize, admitting he spent the night parked outside of her house.

Things would be fine. At least for a couple of days.

Then they would be right back to fighting. It was getting exhausting, for the both of them.

It was a cycle they kept repeating, one they couldn't seem to break out of.

They tried to fix it, they tried to hold on. But in life, there are some things you just can't fix.

" _Hey there Juliet." Jughead's voice was soft as he entered his girlfriend's room._

" _Where have you been?" Betty was sitting on her bed, fingers playing with the hem of her shirt._

" _Out."_

" _With Toni, right?"_

 _Jughead rubbed the back of his neck, "er, yeah actually."_

" _I see."_

" _Betty.." Jughead stepped closer to his girlfriend. "It's not what you're thinking I promise._

" _I never said I thought it was something."_

" _I know you Betty."_

" _Yeah, and I know you Jughead."_

 _Jughead came to sit beside her._

" _Archie told me something today Juggie."_

 _Jughead tensed, almost afraid to ask._

" _What?"_

" _He said that he loves me, that turning me away was a mistake."_

" _Oh."_

" _But he said he knows he doesn't stand a chance against you. I agreed."_

" _Really?" Jughead asked, insecurity lacing his voice._

" _And there it is."_

" _What?"_

" _When are you going to believe I'm over Archie Jughead? Are we just going to go through this whole relationship with you not trusting me?"_

" _Betty.." he reached for her hand._

" _No Jughead, I can't do this if that's the case."_

" _I.."_

" _I love you so much Jughead Jones," Betty's voice was watery, her vision laced with tears._

" _I love you Betty Cooper."_

" _Do you trust me?"_

" _Of course."_

" _Okay so what if I told you I was having dinner with Archie tomorrow?"_

 _Jughead let out a growl, "like hell."_

" _No. See Jughead.. you can't do that."_

" _But Betty.."_

" _No. You can go off and spend all day with Toni and I can't say anything about it."_

" _That's.." Jughead trailed off._

" _It's what Juggie? Different? Not really."_

 _Jughead didn't respond, she was right._

" _Maybe.. maybe we need to take some space from each other Jughead."_

" _Our problem is space Betty! We have too much of it."_

" _Or maybe not enough."_

" _No, Betty please. Things will be better. I will be better."_

 _They both had tears flowing from their eyes._

" _I'm sorry Juggie. I am so tired of spending my days worrying about you. Of being so jealous I just want to.." Betty trailed off, shaking her head._

" _Betty.."_

" _Maybe another time Jughead. But not right now."_

 _Jughead stood up, he didn't know what to do._

" _Betty please."_

" _I-" her phone rang, cutting her off. "It's Archie."_

 _Something inside Jughead snapped and he made his way to the window._

" _I hope you two are happy together."_

 _He was out the window before she could respond._

In the end, after all they had been through, it was kind of ironic the way they ended. Not in a bang, but quietly. Anticlimactic.

In the end, Betty thought, maybe Veronica was right. She had just let him walk away.


End file.
